I want to explain why we are inviting absolutely every last one of you to The Green Door Gallery art event on Wednesday. It’s taken me ages to write this out. It’s meant I’ve had to say his name over and over again.

In January we launched a mental health awareness campaign at the Irish Embassy. The inimitable “Darkness Into Light” team also donated an incredible 48,000 Euros to partner organisations that provide therapy training and mental health helpline services here in Belgium.

Here is my full speech from that evening:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mq151HP3rSg

It was an emotional moment, to say the least.

And here is your invitation to the art event this Wednesday:

Ever since my friend took his life in 2007, I’d been looking for a charity that supported people. Supported them in the way I believed my friend and his family had not been supported: I wanted to donate to something that helped individuals and families dealing with mental health crises and bereavement.

From the day of his funeral until the day of this year’s Darkness Into Light launch, I avoided every photo of him. Without thinking, I believed I could control my grief if I avoided reflecting on him. It felt like too much. I’d also, tragically but in a different way, refrained from reaching out to mutual friends. As if the pain would be too great and the floodgates would open. Me! Avoid talking? With friends! Can you imagine?

Then, 17 years later, after the speech when I FINALLY opened up, a family approached me and spoke eloquently. They described how some of us stop ourselves from connecting, even talking, to friends and family, as a form of control. I thought of a diagnosis in psychology: “Selective Mutism.” And a term in popular culture: “Stonewalling.” They explained that some people have such big feelings, they get overwhelmed, and in order to gain a sense of control, some people cut others out.

They had been discussing their own mental health relationships, but it sparked my own long-dark lightbulb.

I’d been burying my own grief in isolation.

I’d avoided looking at old photos.

I didn’t even mention his name casually until last year.

Around this time last year, walking with a friend Sarah Ironside she mentioned she was painting these hearts when she goes for walks. Sarah explained these yellow hearts help people process grief and connect to a charity that supports individuals and families. I was so inspired. I painted a yellow heart in my friend’s memory as we discussed the complexities of grief.

In the post I had written:

If you, or anyone you know are working through suicidal ideation or grief after the loss of a loved one, you might want to check out the incredible support and free services of the Darkness Into Light organisation: www.darknessintolight.ie

You see better than I could; I wrote his name in rain-proof paint, but I still couldn’t bring myself to say it regularly, even write it in my post online!

Sarah had written:

Here is the transcript of her whole post from May 2023:

#60for60 Walk #59

#Suicideprevention

#darknessintolight

My Penultimate Walk.

Walking for Dominic.

I walked with my beautiful friend Tamar Levi. She is an artist and she painted her friend Dominic ‘s name with love, sadness and hope.

She told me how Dominic liked to do theatre where there was no theatre. He brought theatre audiences on boats, he was like a theatre doctor who made plays better.

But at 42 he took his own life to the immense grief and sadness of all who loved him.

HOPE – that is the word for me which defines my walks. I walk with the hope that someone will reach out and get help. I walk with the hope that together we can play a part in reducing the stigma that surrounds mental health problems.

Tomorrow I will write these words in lights in the park.

Hope. Dochas. Hoop. Espoir.

I look forward to waking my 60th walk together with people all over the world and sharing the same sunrise.

Thanks to your generosity my personal fundraiser is now at almost 7000 euros – but every euro counts and donations still welcome.

You can donate here :

https://www.darknessintolight.ie

or to a/c of DILBXL asbl BE90 0018 6162 7232

Your donation can help support those around you by raising life-saving funds and awareness of the free services which can help.

Register to walk on 6 May at

www.darknessintolight.ie (choose Belgium)

“Suicide doesn’t end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting any better”

#SuicidePrevention @PietaHouse

@suicidebelgique @113preventie

@PietaHouse @zelfmoordlijn @suicidebelgique @dilbxl

These were turned=away-from physical blindspots..
The memories of where he lived and where the funeral was held were too overwhelming.

I had so many blind spots. Sarah Ironside mentioned his name in her post. At that time, I’d been holding my grief too close to my chest. Believing it too personal, even for my personal friends to read on my personal wall.

There are also odd circles British society draws around who gets to grieve to the depth they feel they need: I wasn’t his girlfriend or mother, why should I be as shaken to my core as I’d felt?

Up until Sarah and I walked in 2023, I’d rarely mentioned him. Of course, he was referred to and grieved openly at the time of his tragic death and during the time of his funeral in 2007. Back then, I had to say his name to apply for time off work to attend the funeral. I requested bereavement therapy from my work. I’m sure his name was mentioned in those three corporate-office therapy sessions. It wasn’t until SEVENTEEN YEARS later, in 2024, this family, deep at the heart of an event close to my heart, surrounded by their community and friends, speaking of another grief entirely, external to my own self, only THEY helped me reach this private, hidden, personal epiphany: I had been stonewalling my own community around my own grief. My way of controlling my feelings had been to avoid discussion with mutual friends and certainly, to avoid any photos.

That evening, I went home and looked him up. His face flooded the internet. Newspapers, tributes, memorials, projects he’d done for Cornish community, the heritage community that grew from his theatre projects, a whole new theatre atelier built in his honour, credits for films I’d never heard he’d acted, productions I’d no idea he’d founded or scripts he’d fixed… articles and articles and articles… and even an entire photo album dedicated to a life of sensitive beauty.

I was stunned.

Of course I was not the only person mourning Dominic Knutton.

The manager of the Dutch language helplines here in Belgium had spoken only this evening of statistics. It was reported, on average, 130 people are affected by every individual life lost.

Dominic Knutton and author Paulo Coelho
after a London showing
of Dom’s adaptation & the UKs premier
“THE ALCHEMIST”

I smiled at photos of his successes and laughed at photos of him playing instruments I didn’t know he’d even (tried to?) play.

I saw evidence of his naughty-academic playfulness in a Bacchanalia he’d done at the iconic Eden Project, his historical recovery of Ordinalia (three medieval mystery plays dating to the late fourteenth century,

written primarily in Middle Cornish),

even what a cheeky chappie he’d been as a child.

That evening I’d finally reached out and felt the parallel rays of all 130 people+ remembering my friend, our friend, with similar loving sadness, and suddenly I felt the isolate release after seventeen whole years.

Theatre producer and actor Jason Squibb with actor Aidan Turner in the award-winning Poldark (2015)

Weeping, I emailed Dom’s friend and theatre producer, Jason Squibb:

Hello Jason, you might remember me, if not, that’s ok. Dominic Knutton and I were close. I’ve been a “Cornishwoman abroad” since then and I don’t think you and I have met in person since Dom’s funeral. At that time I felt a lot of guilt for not having been able to support him… [more effectively, through his darkest end thoughts]. I also really struggled with the bereavement (as we all did). At the time I felt I wasn’t able to help him, and the frustration there was not any mental health support that I knew of, was angry-making. At his funeral I thought about how much I wished there had been a free and qualified professional who could have talked with him in a way that might have led him away from self harm. So for years I was looking for a charity to donate to in order to make sure there could be support for people struggling like Dom had been at that time. Since moving to Brussels I witnessed a lot of people raising awareness for suicide and bereavement and mental health. I reached out to one of the organisers of the most transparently effective support groups and asked if I could donate and organise an event for donations to the 24/7 free therapy hotlines they run in 3 languages here. It’s taken us 4 years to get this event underway and yesterday, (with the benefaction of the European President no less!),

Roberta Metsola, the current President of the European Parliament shares her vision for greater mental health awareness in member states.

we finally launched the campaign. My artwork, inspired by Dominic’s illness is on auction and all donations go to the professionals on the phones helping thousands every year work through both the pain and processing that both Dom and we had to do without their kind of support.

All professional art photography done by Ahu Yigit at Atelier 34

Anyway, whether you remember me or not, it doesn’t matter. We both had big love for the same guy. I did this thing in honour of him and I wanted to share with you because, well, you’d get it. I hope hope hope other friends and families and colleagues and classmates and acquaintances don’t lose anyone even partially as important as Dominic was to us. I hope my illustrations help young people, especially, see that they are seen and these telephone lines help them feel listened to and these professionals support them away from the darkness that swallowed up our friend. I send you the warmest regards from Belgium and a big Knut kind of hug from, Just Another Person Who Loved Him ❤

Jason responded!

Hi Tamar, yes of course I remember you! Wow, this is amazing. Great that Dom is not only remembered but continuing to influence others who meant a lot to him. I know Dom’s death affected so many people in different ways. But fantastic that you have worked so hard to provide support for those in crisis. Belgium is lucky to have you! Sending you warmest regards from Cornwall, much love xxx

We talked a little bit more online and Jason explained that Dom’s visionary founding of the Cornish Theatre Collective continues to thrive.

…I’m running the company now and since working on the Ordinalia in 2021, I’ve been trying to get funding for a play. The Knut is hugely successful in St Just, a wonderful community space...

Jason is referring to how the company expands and grows as the Collective Arts Ltd. 

Now the Artistic Director, Jason’s often juggling playwright, shipwright AND navigator. Fantastic current projects deliver large-scale outdoor epic theatrical experiences alongside touring theatre. Solid in the same values as Dom’s first Ordinalia, the Collective continues to function as a catalyst for communities to explore their own artistic endeavours. For those of you looking to support awareness and appreciation of Cornish cultural heritage, or interested in celebrating and interpreting our past: the collective works with freelance performers and practitioners and are developing the next exciting thing. Get in touch with them here.

The Knut is hugely successful in St Just, a wonderful community space...

When Jason spoke of The Knut he helped me settle deep into the understanding that our friend Dominic Knutton’s memory is very much alive and still passionately active in the theatre world.

Art events coordinator Mary Ann Bloomfield managed to raise enough money to build a theatrical facility for the St Just community. It was that community that first worked together with Dom to revive the uniquely Cornish medieval Ordinalia plays.

I wrote:

… It’s just amazing how much community orbits his memory. Thank you again for all your hard work over there and all your kind words here. If, for whatever reason, you find yourself passing through Belgium, ping me a message. I’ll buy you a Belgian beer and a Belgian waffle with some Belgian chocolates so you can go back well welcomed 🙂

The warmth in our brief exchange was incredible. I hadn’t spoken with any mutual friends in 17 long years. I wasn’t even in the same VPN country, wherein I might’ve glimpsed award-winning shows, seen Jason Squibb acting in there: proximity might’ve inspired a more casual reflex to pick up the flippin’ phone!

The geographical distance was not the true divide.

Why do we do this do ourselves? Why do we look to isolate our feelings, to control what makes us human, why do we try to lock our little hearts in little boxes? Why do we sometimes hide when the truth is: community is one of the main healthy ingredients back to mental health.

Talking with friends or finding a community who are willing to discuss the trauma or tragedy or grief in your life is one of the biggest healing tools we can tap into.

I made the mistake of taking my own dang time finding my snail pace back to the place where I can heal more healthily amongst friends.

Please don’t isolate yourself.

If you have been through anything at all, there are others around you ready to listen, walk with you, remember with you, well up with tears and talk too.

In fact, aside from my friend and my art and my delayed epiphanies, the charity that I chose to support in my friend’s name, they are meeting for a community walk on May 11th. I’m just realising now, similar to Dom’s Cornish Theatre Collective, they too work to make a space for community. They hope that people who join the walk will find a space for their grief, an outlet for bereavement and a catharsis that can only come from shared memories and open hearts. You can join in sadness or in solidarity.

Here are the details to meet up on that morning:

https://www.darknessintolight.ie/event/brussels

Hope to see you there. Learn your name. Learn the name of the person you might have lost. And learn how to say my friend’s name again and again and again too.

-T-

Holden Willard, an American artist exhibited through Belgium’s Edjigallery with the perfect size canvas imho and 8 years of meditative portraiture on his father’s features.

The blue square (top, nearly centred left) containing a doubling reflection of the self-portrait internalised therein.

This blue square reminds me of the blue tunnel of mirror and memory in another Proustian painting, one from his father’s generation, a similar size canvas by Belgian artist Gerolf Van de Perre.

Art history reflects in and on itself. Fathers itself, if you will.

.

.

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#artdealer

#artcollector

#hidden

#selfportrait

#portraitofafather

#portraiture

#oilpaintings

#emergingartist

#contemporarycollector

#curator

@ranjisaf

#gallerist

@edwardvhoutte

@robertmartinstudio

#edjigallery

#holdenwillardpainting

@edjigallery

@holdenwillard

#geroldvanperre

#proustian

#proust

@gerolf.vandeperre

Working on a new series.

16+ paintings of Brussels and it’s incredible parks.

I love this city.

On Wed, 21 Oct 2020 an art teacher who will go the extra mile wrote to me from Argentina:

“Hi Tamar! I’m sharing herein the questions the students want to ask you […]
They are truly enthusiastic about your participation in the project!”

The distance between Brussels and Argentina is 7,008 miles or 11,279 kilometers

Here’s how I answer:

Hello! Hello!
Let me answer the questions each in turn.

What would you like to know about TAMAR LEVI?
1. How did you start being interested in art?

I enjoyed playing with paints, mark-making and trying to build my own stories in pictures since I was little, but I became most fascinated around age 13 when I learnt there are lots of symbols in paintings.

You may learn to read a story in a painting the way you would read a story with words.

You can ask yourself some questions to help you read what’s going on:

What visual symbols are in this picture? (E.g. a skull, a rose, a goblin sitting on your chest while you sleep, and what might those mean death, love, a nightmare sensation… )

The Nightmare, Henry Fuseli, 1781

Any more complex symbols? (E.g. mythology will tell us what this swan is doing that he shouldn’t be doing.)

Leda and the Swan, Ancient Greek Vase Painting

What emotions are conveyed with that colour choice? (For Wassily Kandinsky, this blue represents his creative energy.)

The Blue Rider (Der Blaue Reiter), Wassily Kandinsky, 1903

What emotions are conveyed by these shapes? (For Salvador Dali both lobsters and telephones were erotic forms and he felt they achieved greater eroticism when put together like this.)

Lobster Telephone, Salvador Dali, 1936

What can we learn about the story behind the picture by the way the artist painted it (e.g. stabbing, splattering paint effects, a focus on the mother character, lots of yellow or dark red/black paint)?

The Scream, Edvard Munch, 1893

What information can we get from the materials? (There’s a very interesting 12 metre sculpture in Athens, Greece made out of sharp broken glass. It appears to be running at a sprint. Does the chosen material/construction help with the impression of motion?)

Dromeas (The Runner) by Costas Varotsos 1994

I’m going to share the very first painting I remember being FASCINATED by! I saw the original in The National Gallery when I was that 13 year old visiting London, and the Art History student giving tours explained how one could “read” the story.

An Allegory with Venus and Cupid by Bronzino

This painting is absolutely STUFFED with symbolism. It’s very big but I chose this image because these look like the closest colours to the original. Sometimes called “Allegory of Venus and Cupid,” sometimes called “Venus, Cupid, Folly, and Time,” the analysis describes it as a visual puzzle. When I understood some paintings are intended to be puzzles that help us unlock an artist’s worldview, I was hooked.

I remember the young enthusiastic tour guide pointing out the theatre masks on the floor next to Venus’s feet, the tortured face in the center left, and he made us lean close and see the angel Folly (the one with the rose petals). If you looked closely at the original, you could see that little angel is stepping on a dropped rose’s thorn, which reminded me that sometimes laughter is followed by tears, that we must enjoy joy while it lasts.

Allegory of Venus and Cupid, Thorn Detail

Why is Cupid’s mummy giving him a kiss while about to put an arrow in his back? Or is that mother’s love: something you cannot choose to be hit by, even if you wish to be in control.

Allegory of Venus and Cupid, Arrow Detail

The most amazing symbol I was impressed by is the symbolic act of Father Time pulling a big blue blanket over everyone enjoying that moment, meaning it will all be gone the next moment.

Time pulling his blanket over this brief moment.

The other thing that I learned looking at this painting was that you can twist your characters around and they can still look realistic. The artist Bronzino could make bodies look real when, really, he was making them do what he wanted them to do. Imagine how long this neck would unnaturally look if Venus’s arm were not right there? Try Cupid’s pose when you’re at home tonight.

Just try Cupid’s pose

2. Did you study at college? Where was it?

I studied Philosophy at King’s College London and then Psychology at the University of Cambridge. However I’m a visual learner so I wanted to illustrate the ideas from my philosophy books. That’s how I started out in children’s literature: I made my own little books illustrating big ideas like “Do flowers have feelings?” They were not picked up by publishers at that time so I went on to illustrate other people’s books before writing my own again later.

Thoughtings, authored by Peter Worley and Andrew Day, Illustrated by Tamar Levi

When I was in London I wanted to take an art class that taught some classical skills, e.g. glaze and paint mixing and varnishing skills. It was really difficult for me to find a class that taught the practical skills. There were loads of classes around about theory and history of art, but I realised the practical stuff was better found in books. I did a three day course at Camberwell college that was meant to be an introduction to oil paints but I think, at that time, I would have learnt the same amount of info from books or the internet. 

3. How do you manage to live on art?

I don’t. Not anymore. You can be well known and popular and still not make a lot of money at this. It’s incredibly difficult to earn a living at the fun side of art and pay your rent and feed yourself. 

Your salary is not reflected in how many interviews you do.

I’m going to be completely honest with you because I think it’s important to demystify the serious stuff. I cannot rely on full-time income from my art as of today because the global pandemic has changed the way people engage with galleries etc. It remains to be seen how I must adapt with these times. Maybe after the needs of my family become lower maintenance, maybe then I could return to producing more and earning more.

Finding assistance in the family

As an artist/mother I find my art struggles to exist in the margins of my responsibilities. Those responsibilities are primarily keeping my family alive and well, while taking into account the domestic labour and house management side. I could joke that I’m Minister of Internal Affairs at our house. But it’s no joke. The emotional, physical and psychological burden of chronic fatigue and parenting while creating collections of paintings needs to be discussed with people who are looking at a possible career here.

Hey Tova Niovi, here’s a work of art by me called Hallerbos. Hey Hallerbos, here’s Tova Niovi, a work of art by me.

Choosing to have a family AND have a creative life is a constant time and energy juggle that needs a consistent discipline to return to the cyclical process of project completion and promotion. You cannot do it ALL unless you have a strong network of support around you (friends and/or family who will give to you as much as you give to them with regards to childcare etc), otherwise something will feel compromised. Someone wiser than me said it better, “it’s a myth that you can do everything at once. You can do everything, but not all at once.”

Here are the best ways that I know of at this time, however they might change as the world is changing a lot during this pandemic and more people are buying more things online. Ways I think you might be able to earn a living in or around the art world:

  • Teaching art at school or university, the practical or the theoretical side (treat your art teacher well, she’s your magic key to this whole world)
  • Artwork / storyboarding / creative thinking for advertising companies or fashion companies
Storyboarding for TEDx
  • Architecture / interior design/ furniture making /product design
  • Comic books / animation / gaming industry work
  • Building a niche following in social media and selling workshops and merchandise to them
  • Museum / gallery curation
Curating a show at the European Parliament
  • Series / film / theatre /live performance industry / costumes / makeup / storyboarding / choreography / music video making / film editing
  • Publishing graphic novels, picture books, photography for magazines or book jacket design
MY AUTISM BOOK: I co-authored AND illustrated this book AND designed the cover concept!
  • Website and app design
  • Painting / illustrating / photography / sculpture / crafts.

With regards to the latter: be aware of not selling your work for less than the value of your expenditure. Often funded by getting student loans, prizes, patrons or government subsidies or institutional support. Here’s a visual sketch I just did last week for a government application to take my live art performances into schools here in Belgium. It won’t be very much money, but it’s a useful stipend.

4. What inspires you?

When it comes to every day: a very yellow afternoon light often inspires me.

Preview this painting of De Haan's Sand Dunes in Belgium as viewed in your home.
My painting of De Haan, Belgium

When it comes to portraits: super wrinkly and well-lived faces inspire me. Asymmetric faces inspire me. Characterful people inspire me. Beautiful people do NOT inspire me. Adorable curious humans inspire me. No matter their size or age. 

Manolis Glezos, Tamar Levi, 2016

When it comes to landscapes: a sense of space, a huge view, a WOW moment in nature.

Santorini Volcano, Tamar Levi, 2020

When it comes to book illustration: a phrase or idea that is very tricky to understand inspires me to make a visual that will make sense of that idea.

When it comes to getting my big projects done: death inspires me. My best friend was killed and sometimes I remember her and am reminded that life is very short and there are lots of things to get done. I want to have completed DELPHI my graphic novel comic book all in one line before I’m on my death bed.

5. Do you work/ paint at special times of the day? Do you have a fixed routine for painting/ drawing?

I used to beat myself up for not doing things every day with a very rigid routine. Lately I’ve realised I’m a “burst of energy” kind of person, I work intensely very very quickly, sometimes for many hours of hyper focus, then not again for days. Once I accepted that’s just my way of working, I’ve stopped beating myself up so much!

Portait I completed in -3 minutes

6. Do you have any tips you would share about painting?

Tips on the theory behind painting:

Don’t compare yourself to too many artists or everyone that’s online. It can be overwhelming when we see how many people might be “ahead” in their process. We are all on different journeys. Also, don’t take advice from too many people, only a very limited few who have an aesthetic intelligence you admire. It gets confusing when you get notes from a wide range of people who all think and feel different things. Everyone can discuss how they experience your art differently, but you don’t need to take it all as advice. Be selective.

Tips on the practice of painting:

Clean your brushes. Look after your favourite ones. Mix your own colours. Don’t just work from the tube. It looks elevated when it’s your own palette of your own favourite colours you’ve mixed yourself. Use the best quality materials you can afford. You can sell things for more money when done with better quality materials and you will improve faster because your tools will not be slowing you down. Also: USE YOUR SKETCHBOOK!

Image by Anja Strelec for BRUZZ

7. How did you feel when you were invited or you had your first exhibition?

I was excited and worried because the exhibition was in the UK and I was living in Greece, so it was a complicated journey!

For my last performance, for TEDx’s international platform on YouTube, I spent all my time and physical energy preparing the show, but too much mental energy worrying about how I looked on stage. I wish I had done more work on unpacking body positivity before I had to stand in front of so many cameras and such a massive global audience.

Myself and Flautist Kalliopi Bolovinou

8. Do you only know how to draw in this style or have you tried different styles and techniques?

I’ve tried so many styles.

In black and white:

I do these zenlike continuous line, mostly contour, drawings and paintings in a nearly-abstracted minimalistic form of portraiture.

My continuous line illustration developing a Family Planning project about consent

In colour, I use hand mixed acrylic paints in a classical realism style with a mixed media of oil pastel on the top.

Hallerbos, from my IMMENSITIES Collection 2020

In my sketchbooks I use watercolour and ink.

My watercolour sketch of Piraeus, Mikrolimano, Athens

Sometimes I used pencil as a child but it never felt bold enough. I tried a dip pen and ink jar, but the quill wouldn’t move in the circular motions my “handwriting” in art likes to move.

So that kind of pen was not ergonomically correct for me. I ended up using Sharpies and uniball pens to go with my deep black line’s flow faster.

I’ve had to start using big ones so larger audiences (700-1200 people) could see the line develop.

I really like a certain illustrator named Shirley Hughes who uses gouache to paint her books, but every time I use guache the colours feel too matt for me.

Anthology of Shirley Hughes’ children’s book illustrations.

I used to work with felt tip markers a lot. They were great for my publishing work,

Image “Identity is Like a Puzzle” from MY AUTISM BOOK, 2013

but didn’t like how they fade away in the sun when I want to display them.

Portrait of my neice that faded in the sun 🙁

I did a LOT of photography as a child and teenager and that helped me understand how I align my perspective on the canvas.

My one line drawing of Marie Antoinette

I used to make A4 sized illustrations.

One line portraits, from the GREAT MINDS collection

And A4 sized portraits.

Then miniature landscapes.

Lately, I’ve realised that there’s something portable and giftable in miniatures.

My miniature landscapes at the European Parliament

Yet giant canvases are truly liberating. They satiate a need for freedom during this pandemic.

Temple at Sounio
My painting of the Temple of Poseidon at Sounio, 2020, IMMENSITIES Collection

For now the black and white minimalist zenlike one line portraits are really calming,

Women in Journalism, Literature, Philosophy and Physics

and the colour pictures satisfy my need for deep textures in paint. I think I’ll try even bigger canvases for my next project. 

This painting of Tervuren was the biggest canvas in my last show.

9. What is your favorite painting?

My favourite painting by another artist has always been this portrait by Elisabeth Vigee-Lebrun of Countess Golovine .

Portrait of Countess Golovina, ÉLISABETH VIGÉE-LEBRUN, 1797/1800

I first saw it in a book when I was 12 and I was so impressed by the warmth and dynamism. She was painted in such a lively way, a nontraditional pose, and her direct look at the camera gives me a really clear feeling that this is a very good likeness of a kind and intelligent woman. It was historically unusual for women to be painted as individuals rather than objects. Perhaps it was because she was a female artist painting a friend, and that’s what gave her subject an individuality and unique sensitivity that was so uncommon at that time.

Red pops next to yellow #colourtheory

I also liked the rich red cloth which popped visually against a huge gold frame. Maybe I identified with the artist, maybe I identified as the subject, but I’m sure I’ve been doing variations on this theme for my whole portraiture career.

My favourite painting by my own hand is this picture of a wave which was the first oil painting I ever painted in my life! I did it with only one palette knife and I still enjoy the wave’s movement and how thick the paint is sculpted. Look at how I couldn’t even sign my name properly in the corner! That’s how wobbly my coordination was with a brush right at the beginning!

Lefkada, Tamar Levi, circa 2000

10. Who is your favorite artist?

For portraits:

I spent a lot of time looking at David Hockney’s early works and sketchbooks when I was a kid. I’m not in love with his current work, but definitely got influenced by the casual portraiture of his friends and family in his early sketchbooks.

David Hockney, Sketchbooks, 1970

For landscapes:

I’m a little bit obsessed with an artist called Ori Reisman who worked hard to represent the shapes of the landscapes around where my father grew up. I don’t know how he layers colour, I wish he was still alive so I could ask him.

Ori Reisman, Cabri Collection

For illustration:

There’s a French artist called Joann Sfar I met in London.

Joann Sfar’s sketch of me, 2008

His early work of pen on watercolour influenced me hugely.

His early work

I haven’t explored his recent work, but I love the humanity and eroticism in his inky wiggly lines.

Joann Sfar’s sketches of my then-boyfriend, now-husband Vasilis Katsardis, 2008

I used to be very into this niche cult figure Edward Gorey, then realised I enjoyed consuming his books but they didn’t galvanise me. I wasn’t engaging with them in a non-academic, passionate way that moved me forward in my own practise.

The Doubtful Guest, Edward Gorey, 1957

I think that’s an important distinction: I like Ernest Hemmingway and his very direct and unadorned prose style, but I shouldn’t waste time trying to emulate him in my writing, my way of writing is closer to the style of Anthony Burgess… very descriptive and playful.

Similarly, when finding an artist I admire, I need to check in with how they make me feel. If they make me feel othered, alienated from their practice and make me feel like giving up, then I need to turn away from their work. If they make me feel like I want to dance with their themes and bring my own ideas into a dialogue with the discussion their works instigate, then I need to remember to reach for them when I need motivation.

It’s kind of like friendship. If someone is negating you, negging you, pulling you down, then don’t waste time, rise up and move onwards and away. If someone applauds you and celebrates you for who you are and sparks your interests in a positive direction, you invest in that friendship to keep them around you.

11. Are you interested in and willing to take part in other types of art expressions such as music, for example?

I wish I could sing. There’s a narrative movement in the journey of these one line drawings that I’m doing.

Dr Eugene Feygelson brought his neuromusicology expertise to an improvised classical music and continuous line collab

So I’ve asked fantastic musicians to collaborate with me.

A super short timelapse of our performance on the stage at Clique Art, Belgium, 2018

They play music while I do live painting performances.

Live art and music collaborations with Kalliopi Bolovinou for TEDxULB, 2020

I like to dance. I think there’s something primal and communal in circular folk dances. I’d love to engage with fashion more. A collaboration with a fashion company to put my art on their clothing and bags feels like an exciting step into another realm of artistic expression.

12. What is your perspective of art?

There are few ways I could interpret that question. Either you are asking my perspective on the art industry, my perspective on the history and direction of art as a practice, or perhaps you mean what perspective do I apply in the themes I employ within my personal art practice.

My perspective on the art industry: 

There are not enough government grants or academic awards to support early career artists. Therefore mostly only people with capital (i.e. financial freedom) have the support at the beginning. This is a problem in our socioeconomic system as a whole, not just for artists.

Preview of the painting Oxilithos, Evia, Greece, on a gallery wall.
Oxilithos, Evia Greece, Tamar Levi, 2014

The gallery and auction system is elitist by necessity. It has to be selective to judge what’s good, and be able to value it for the higher price tag. I’d like there to somehow still be a standard of quality maintained while providing egalitarian accessibility online as well as still in beautiful museum spaces but I definitely need an economist or director of monetisation to step in and explain how that could possibly work!

My perspective on the history of art/journey to present day art:

Artists are made famous when they move the game forward, provide something people haven’t seen before, become collectable brand commodities or do something better than others or provoke and make “woke” the audience in a compelling way.

My most affordable products, made accessible by mass printing and international shipping

I’m curious to see how the accessibility of more affordable art-transcribed products, as well as the transparency of social media will unveil the art industry’s elitism, and hierarchy of art collectors, and how the information revolution will change how non-dynastic collectors and public individuals engage with art for their homes and art for public spaces. What art is “good” for galleries is very different than what the internet consensus deems “good art.” I can’t wait to see where this is going.

My perspective in my personal art practice:

The perspective I bring to my art is the belief that I wouldn’t want something gruesome or depressing on my walls. We’ve got the news on tv for that. So I try to make sure my artworks provide a positive uptick in people’s moods when they walk into their homes.

I couldn’t stop laughing at how much pleasure and emotional power this viewer took from one of paintings.

13. How long does it take approximately to write a book?

It depends how good you are at returning to your manuscript to get it done! The autism book I co-authored and illustrated in 2011-2012 took about 18 months to get to publication. That might be because there were people involved who are not easy to work with. They were not good communicators. Before that and since then every other project was and has been much more pleasant and gone more quickly. When people respect and credit you appropriately, without exploitative agendas, it’s amazing how much you can accomplish together.

18 months to get to publication yet with ongoing problematic communication patterns, still to this day!

A few years ago, I noticed that I was using too much visual description in my writing. I needed to move from traditional high literary works towards graphic novels in order to cut a lot of the text and represent it more in illustration. So this DELPHI publishing project has taken me 15 years! And it’s still not done!

An early draft of DELPHI

I have moved countries 3 times and given birth to a human and lived a very full life in between though, so it’s almost excusable!

14. Do you frequently attend social events?

I used to, before this pandemic! One problem with moving countries too often is that my network gets chopped and changed so I lose a lot of connections with every move.

Socialising today

However, here in Brussels we’ve met some INCREDIBLE new friends that are very similar to us and it’s made socialising much easier.

15. Have you studied something else which may not be related to painting?

I studied Philosophy in London and Psychology in Cambridge, but I bring themes from both those areas of research into my painting work, so I think they are related. For Philosophy, I make sure my art engages with the big ideas that excite me. For Psychology, I learnt a lot about what happens in the brain when we see clear faces, when our spatial reasoning witnesses certain shapes, what happens in the brain when certain colours are prioritised over others… it has all been very useful.

An illustration I did for MY AUTISM BOOK, 2013, called “Every Brain Is Different”

16. Have you ever had a gap year? If not, would you like to have one?

I was really lucky to work for a year before going to university. Among many small jobs that year, I was an Au Pair in Barcelona. Growing up in Alaska I spent a lot of time painting portraits, but in Barcelona the architecture was so special I started painting buildings for the first time and I was shocked how fun they can be… and they don’t fidget like people-subjects do!

I can’t find an early Barcelona sketch so I found one that was made about 3 years later in Moscow, inspired by that same series.
Here’s a sketch of architecture done in Athens 10 years after the Moscow sketch above. You can really tell how much my style changed in that time.

17. If you weren’t an artist, what would you like to be?

I would probably be a Psychologist. In fact, I’m wondering whether I should develop an Art Therapy workshop based on my research at Cambridge and my experience as an art teacher, because I feel there are a lot of calming benefits to be had through this continuous line drawing method I’ve been developing. Paul Klee said drawing is “taking a line for a walk.” It’s very relaxing. There’s a lot of anxiety going around nowadays. Perhaps therapeutic art practices could help with that?

Portrait of Simone Weil painted in one continuous line. Let your eye take a walk along the journey of the line.

18. How would you define you?

More deeply, I would define myself as a recovering Perfectionist, renegade Philosopher, erstwhile Psychologist, suffering from chronic Trying-To-Do-Too-Much, sparked by Childlike Wonder in curious people and places.

Photo by Iris Haidau

Slightly more simply put, I’m a triheritage, multilingual, bisexual positive-thinking human who just likes to get better at playing a long game with paint.

Let me know if you have any more questions! Good luck with your exams!

I’ve developed over 70 versions of my comic book DELPHI illustrated all in one continuous line. I’ve given away a few and have 65 left. One live performance was for Clique Art with violinist Eugene Feygelson and the other for TEDx with flautist Kalliopi Bolovinou.

Iris Haidău will come over and document them before I give the rest away to any families who want them (as children’s bedroom art or colouring “books”).

All these scrolls remind me of the ancient library at Alexandria.

If anyone says artists are crazy, you can confirm, nod your head wisely, and say you are friends with one very crazy artist. Right here. It’s TRUE.

https://www.facebook.com/tamar.levi.90/videos/10159390638882923

Someone likes to colour in my continuous line drawings.

“This is way more than I ever expected. I’m speechless.”

TEDx & arts event manager extraordinaire Dimitra Pappa witnesses my continuous line portraits for the first time.

My exhibition MISSFITS will be on show at the TEDxULB event on October 22nd 2020, Brussels, Belgium

promo code TEDXULB2020 on tickets Maison Du Bois, Vrijwilligerslaan 2, 1040 Etterbeek on OCT 22nd.

https://www.tedxulb.org/event-details/tedxulb-misfits

Just finished uploading many of my paintings to the print place.

I hope you enjoy these!

I’ve made postcards, prints, even masks…

They are all based on the paintings from my collection Immensities that is coming to end of a sold out solo show in central Brussels, Belgium.

Last day of my solo show at Art Base gallery! I’ll be there between 2-6pm today. Address: Rue des Sables 29, Brussels 1000.

Here are some of the paintings profiled on the biggest weekend morning show in Greece (w English subtitles).

(Lipstick & Masks Don’t Mix)

I now know what it takes to paint, plan and welcome people to art events and sell art during a pandemic.

It takes: flexible dates (watch out for panic), constant considerate communication (bring in forgiveness), safety & sterility measures, and in the end, letting go and gratitude.

I’d never painted a whole art collection during a national lockdown.
I’d never planned an art show during a global pandemic.
I’d never seen the relief of culture lovers reconnecting in the “new normal.”

More art lovers showed up to my art show IMMENSITIES than expected. They came with smiles behind masks, in hope for interaction, solitary culture vultures, some in pairs and some small families, all arriving slowly but surely to Art Base gallery here in Brussels, Belgium.

It was my honour to welcome some visitors on their first venture out of the house since the beginning of the global Coronavirus pandemic.

The pandemic switched up my audience. I noticed those taking precautions were buying art online, and the majority of those coming in person were a new audience, many people I met for the very first time. It was surprising to meet so many new people after months of interacting with only a small bubble.

Here are my suggestions on How to Run A Successful In-Person Arts Event During a Pandemic.

Step 1) Make sure your dates are in line with pandemic restrictions.

Check both you and the gallery are comfortable with the date, postpone if there is a lockdown or red-zone level restriction that would limit your audience or make you as hosts feel uncomfortable. Check the government guidelines for numbered groups of non-family members. Make sure your ticket sales option has restrictions in place that reflect the government guidelines. The main theme underlying these step is the uncertainty, the fear of planning things that might not come about, the wariness in case it will be rescheduled or cancelled. “Pandemic permitting,” might be the phrase to put at the end of every supply chain interaction. Work towards the event on any element that you can despite a possible changing date. It’s better to have everything ready and postpone than wait until dates are secure and be biting your nails for months and rushing at the last minute. The quality of your work will be closer to guaranteed if you do everything steadily.

Step 2) Make sure your audience understand what’s going on.

This is where we must embrace social media (as dark and scary as it is). Every time there was an iota of information regarding location, dates, preparation, event plans, I made sure to communicate it with utter transparency through almost all my social media channels and website. This was exhausting, but I hoped gallery visitors anticipating the show were getting answers to the questions that they wanted to ask. I answered event safety questions from gallery visitors through Facebook (personal pages, professional pages and event invites), Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, email, text message SMS, Facebook messenger, WhatsApp, my website, Instagram direct messages and telephone calls.

I made three mistakes.

  1. I should have made an email invitation or forwarded on the gallery’s newsletter with the full description of the event to those guests who do not use social media at all.
  2. Although I made Instagram and Facebook stories, I should have also made video blogs on my YouTube channel to update people and to outline the strategies that we were putting in place for other art event planners that might want these guidelines in a visual format (e.g., I watch How To…. videos on YouTube more than reading blogs like this). This video output could have included a live Zoom or YouTube streaming experience of the artwork that would have made it accessible to e.g. family far away (I’m still bummed my mother has not seen any of this painting collection in person).
  3. There were a lot of TV news cameras and newspaper cameras in the gallery. This happened at my last show and a lady confidentially asked to have her background profile removed from any social media posts. I mentioned this in advance when talking in person or on the phone to prospective visitors but I should have made it clearer in every interaction, including emphasising to gallery visitors that they then have the duty to inform their plus ones. There was one guest’s plus one, a gentleman in particular who did not feel comfortable having news cameras in the gallery and I regretted not giving him a more reassuring fair warning.

Those mistakes, those gaps in the information output, are regretful. However, the main theme underlying this step is forgiveness. You cannot do everything. No one can. You cannot create high quality work, put together a high-quality event AND use all the social media and communication networks to the extent they offer (there are always more ways you can utilise them, that’s part of the addiction). Unless you have a massive media communication team at hand, and even then, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to coordinate all the information needed during a pandemic.

The reason that you can never “win” and do it all is because it’s a moving target. It’s a living organism. Event planning is a protean beast at the best of times. During the global Coronavirus pandemic, we’ve noticed governments sharing conflicting information. If the official information is conflicting, and ever changing, then we individuals have no hope of doing everything by the book. Just try your very best to respect the official guidelines but also pay attention to what feels right for you and your audience.

Even if the government says you can now have up to 200 people at an event, you might not feel comfortable and you might know your audience well too. (They are likely to feel similar to you because your audience is attracted to your content due to the connection you feel already, the shared expression of humanity already bridging between you.) If you don’t feel comfortable and you know your audience won’t either, then consider doing it a different way (an online gallery experience perhaps) that would suit you on a personal level and the people you are hoping to connect with. More people have been buying art online than for any of my previous shows. However, if you intend an in-person event to connect art from your heart to people with a kinship, you need to make sure the presentation reflects that relationship. The way you would want a wedding to reflect your relationship.

If you put on an event that doesn’t suit your personality or needs, the art itself will become alienated from the people that end up trying to connect to it. It will be disingenuous to invite everyone you know to a place where you don’t want them to be. We all have to be in the right head space to connect in the arts. Unless you are buying original art for investment purposes only, it’s more likely you’ll be looking to find a bond with a painting. We need to be feel safe to engage with the artwork. This is not the time for forcing provocation upon an already anxiety-burdened public.

Step 3) Prepare a safe entrance and exit strategy.

Gallery visitors were ready to go out on the town, but in a safe way. They were tired of not living their lives. The gallery owner devised a numbered ticket rotation system where you viewed the paintings in a clockwise direction. If more than 20 people were in the room you were asked to pass your number to the next person at the door and step to the open-air gathering space just outside the gallery. We planned that if there were more than 40 people on opening night that I would then do my little welcoming and contextualising speech amongst everyone outside, rather than encouraging us all to linger too close inside.

Step 4) Love your collaborators.
Show some compassion to all the other people making this thing happen in your team. The photographer has lost a lot of business during the lockdown. The gallery owner had to cancel a lot of events and had rising debts. I’m sure many art galleries are facing untenable rent and utility bills. I stepped up the dialectic rate and the empathy in my communication with all suppliers and contractors and collaborators. A pandemic is a time for an empathetic friend, not a diva. (Actually, I don’t know when is the time to be a diva.)

In this circumstance I listened to whatever the gallery owner suggested and worked as hard as possible to be flexible on dates and in-gallery hours. I paid the photographer more than invoiced because we’ve got to keep each other alive when we can. An arts event is more of a family gathering than a corporate event would be. We are often poorly paid for the amount of hours put in, underappreciated as limited producers in the capitalist system, and each of us are facing just as much uncertainty as our cousins in the theatre and music spheres. No one here is future proof and the new normal is eating into all of our savings.

Just be kind.

Step 5) Mask wearing

VIP guests asked “Should I wear a mask in front of the news cameras?” I worried my lipstick would have rubbed around my mouth like a clown. Should I wear make up under my mask? Should I take my mask off when being interviewed? The government guidelines on mask wearing changed mid-show. Again, I think it’s courteous to ask permission from the press journalist or interlocutor, “do you mind if I take my mask off?” I also think this harks back to the comfort level described above. If you are more comfortable taking precautions your audience might be similar to you and want the same things. If you are feverishly denying this global event and it is part of your brand to clan together with other deniers, you’re probably reading the room correctly and in that kind of event masks might not even be welcome!

Step 6) Cleaning

Keeping a sterile home is impossible, a sterile public space is even more tricky. If it were my gallery, I might have budgeted for more cleaning, however I understand it’s a LOT to do and stay on top of and costly in time and energy or cleaning bills. This is one of those areas of concern that has been voiced to me by parents of young children (as I am) who are already losing the battle of control. I feel it helps to know the space you are entering, as you are also entering into a nonverbal contract of trust. You might have visited in the past and known what their level of cleanliness is or been to similar venues or museums and become familiar with what to expect. Do not expect a higher standard of sterility than what you experienced pre-pandemic, because I can speak with assurance, the post-pandemic world is more strapped for time and cash and the cleaning budget might be one of the first things to slip. If parenting a child who touches everything (and then their mouths) is part of the concern, then this needs to be assessed by the parent who is battling with what compromised level of control they need to in order to enjoy an activity in a public space.

Step 7) Letting Go

This bring us to Step 7, letting go. It’s the day of the show. You’ve survived lockdown. You’ve done the artwork to the peak of your present ability. You’ve prepared the hanging devices. You’ve transported it safely to the venue. You’ve hung and curated the space. The lights are set up. You’ve communicated with transparency to your audience and with kindness to all collaborators. You’ve detailed mask safety, safe entrance and exit, cleanliness and courtesy with everyone involved to a comfort level that suits both you and your guests. You’ve got invitations up online and a microphone available if needed. You’re wearing something you’re excited to wear. (Don’t choose heels after months of not wearing heels! My toes experienced frightening levels of numbness after this event, for a record amount of time!) You’re in place and your car has a little note on it saying “Please don’t tow me, I’m in the gallery right now, please tell me if there’s a problem with parking here,” and similarly, your child is safe at home with a familiar babysitter and a little note that says “Please read her four stories before bed.”

The event started at 6pm. There was a moment only around 5.30 wherein I had a small vision of the near future: I know who I am and what I made, I know what this is going to be.

It was the first time I allowed myself to imagine what it would be like.

Prior to that moment I’d been unable to project a vision of the event. My own fear of the ever-developing pandemic caused a mental imagery block. This is panic. Long term, sustained panic. This is the kind of thing that causes mind-body PTSD. Painting during lockdown through the anxiety and paralysis: unable to be certain if the main exhibition event would happen or not, unable to do anything but respond to the entrapment with landscape art that represents freedom, all I could do was make sure I communicated clearly through my art and show up on the day. It might not have been a perfectly executed event, but I could not be more than I am and the art was exactly as good as I could deliver to the best of my abilities in this exact moment.

How do we calm panic in this instance? How do we cure mind-body PTSD when trying to do something normalizing in a not normal new normal? It feels innocent to offer art to friends post-pandemic, but it’s actually a huge undertaking. So we must circle back to forgiveness. I forgive myself for not following all of social media’s siren calls. I forgive myself for not being as slim as I was before lockdown. I forgive myself for not painting that one painting to the majesty of my original vision. I forgive myself for not being able to have family close-by. I forgive myself for letting go of my normal painting-by-sight. Forgiveness for painting by memory, for my new artistic abstractions which are not my normal skillset, but they are new, evolved skills. I forgive myself for weeping to calm my perfectionism. I forgive myself for making this all that it is, during this strange era, whatever it becomes.

Sustained fear is unhealthy. We have all gone through a major global event with a lot of uncertainty involved. One suggestion in PTSD therapy is to connect mind and body again. Small actions like focusing on the sensation of hair brushing, or taking warm baths, or going for nature walks and paying attention to breathing in sun and air… Also, making movement a part of daily life: silly dancing (be safe wiggling to the radio when in the shower), rough and tumble child’s play, focusing on the tasteful pleasure of healthy food choices. It’s incredibly difficult to find space for small movements when we prioritise big achievements. But without the mindful small movements we can’t survive with mental and physical health intact to enjoy this or the next big events.

Last Step For Life (Never to Forget) Gratitude

Thank your guests for showing up. Thank your art collectors for investing in a living artist. Thank your collaborators for bringing their skills to the table. And acknowledge that your stubborn commitment to your art made a live event. Passing on that commitment to your art is a kind of death, a possible depression and stepping back from an event you committed to would be fading away from the community you’re contributing to, and fading away from the positive vision of vibrant humanity you’re trying to express and keep aflame at this time. The real-life interactions are brimming with possibility at these kinds of events and we all need that kind of optimism at this time. Thank the gallery owner for sharing their space. Thank the journalists for sharing their platforms. Thank the locality for a sense of place. Thank the babysitter for the childcare. Thank the support from the loved ones that are left. And pat yourself on the back for having made something new and hopeful come alive in this ridiculous world.

My art show IMMENSITIES is on until Oct 10th. Art Base, 29 rue des Sables, 1000 Bruxelles

Photos by Iris Haidau

Look! Tova Niovi, it’s a work of art by the artist Tamar Levi.
Look! Painting by Tamar Levi, it’s Tova Niovi, a work of art by me.

[Photo by http://www.irishaidau.photography/]

Continuous line portraits I painted in March will be on view again, this time at the big TEDxULB Belgium event in

Maison Du Bois, Vrijwilligerslaan 2, 1040 Etterbeek on OCT 22nd

alongside a live art + music event (we are starting to rehearse TONIGHT)!

https://www.tedxulb.org/event-details/tedxulb-misfits

Paintings for both this and the last showwill be delivered by hand.

This includes painted portraits of:

Sarah Lewarne, Dalia Aviv, Grâce Ketty Cardon, Bhushavali Natarajan, Vaya Vaena, Meghan Sinnott, Elena Kountoura, Christina Ab, Joana Xhemali, Athanasia Katsigianni, Sandra Hodzic, Lee PH, Vanessa Katsardi, Aneta Safaryn, Helen O’Sullivan-Tyrrell, Ahu Yigit, Anna Giannopapa, Michele Nevenka Lalić, John Larimer, Beata Szypcio, Silvia Anna, Sofia Sereti, Mathild Borcard, Konstandinka Kouneva, Solly Elstein, Sarah Ironside, Eleana Ziakou and Efel Fotou.